Matt’s Story: Integrating a Powerful Life-Changing Experience
When Matt came to coaching, he was preparing for and integrating a powerful ayahuasca experience. He wanted support making sense of what had opened up – not just during the ceremony itself, but in the period afterwards, as he began asking what the insights meant and how he wanted to live with them.
Through our work together, we used Internal Family Systems and parts language to give the experience more focus, shape, and grounding. This helped Matt approach the process with more clarity, set intentions, make sense of what emerged, and feel less alone in navigating the emotional terrain afterwards.
For Matt, the coaching offered a grounded, non-directive space where he felt heard, supported, and taken seriously – without being pushed, fixed, or led somewhere that did not feel true. He described the work as guidance rather than direction, and said that having an empathic, sensitive, and engaged space helped him go further than he might have done alone.
What brought you to coaching in the first place?
I had undergone an ayahuasca ceremony, and I was interested in trying to integrate that experience as best I could in a therapeutic sense.
It was about laying the groundwork for that, integrating afterwards, and then moving forward – figuring out what I wanted to do with the insights I’d gained, and how I was going to live, really.
How did the IFS / parts work help you make sense of the experience?
I remember we discussed the Internal Family Systems model and the idea of using that as a template or approach, both to set my intention and to process the experience while it was happening.
It was extremely helpful.
It gave it a focus and a shape. That was enormously helpful going in, during, and afterwards as well – in terms of knowing where to put it, and what to do with it once it was in there and the dust was settling.
What did you think of the process of coaching?
I don’t know what I expected, really.
It wasn’t directive – and this is in a good way. You weren’t trying to fix me or lead me down a certain route in terms of how to approach the ceremony or anything else.
I experienced it as being heard and supported, and being given a focus for my thoughts.
You helped me to define the issue, work out how to address it, and understand what it meant when I had addressed it.
It was holding the space to allow me to do that effectively, with guidance rather than direction.
What was most valuable about the coaching?
It was almost as simple as having it witnessed and validated.
It helped me connect to the experience because it was being taken seriously. I have a kind of scepticism barrier where a lot of self-work is involved – that voice that says, “Is this just New Age nonsense?”
I have that resistance in me, and I think a lot of people do. It’s fairly understandable, but it can be taken too far, and then you miss out on some really good, helpful stuff.
There was a balancing act for me between being fully committed and invested in what I was doing, and another voice going, “Hang on a minute. Is this all just a bit weird and delusional?”
Getting a second pair of eyes on it, and having someone say, “Actually, no, this makes sense. It’s valid,” was something I needed.
I needed the sense of somebody who knew what they were talking about supporting me in it. Otherwise, I think I would have been very anxious, and probably not really able to engage with the experience when it happened, or get as much benefit as I did from it afterwards.
Having somebody who spoke the same language, but clearly also wasn’t a complete New Age woo-woo merchant, was very, very valuable.
How did the coaching help you navigate the experience afterwards?
It helped to have it considered carefully and evaluated by someone else.
Having some signposts, and having a way of navigating the terrain – in this case, the IFS model – gave me a fixed point.
It gave me something I could rely on in a landscape that felt a bit treacherous at times. It was shifting all the time, and there’s something quite anxiety-inducing about that, even without adding psychedelics into the mix.
That applies to any kind of major life change.
What helped you feel able to go deeper?
Without an empathic, sensitive, engaged approach, I might not have felt able to go quite as far as I did.
I wouldn’t have been quite that brave if I hadn’t felt like I had backup.
What would you say to someone considering coaching?
I would say go for it.
It probably won’t do you any harm, and it will probably do a great deal of good in terms of keeping you safe and helping you get the most out of the experience.
More generally, I was a coaching sceptic not that long ago. I was sceptical about all forms of counselling, therapy, or helping work – stewing in my own solitary misery – and I know better now.
I would recommend it as an ideal first step for anyone who wants to move forward in their life, who feels stuck, who feels like they can’t quite work out where to begin, and needs a bit of direction and help focusing their thoughts.
With Rob in particular, he’s very good at that kind of thing and creates just the right atmosphere for it.
So that’s a double recommendation.
What was the overall experience like?
It’s been fun. It’s been really fun.
It probably all sounds quite heavy, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be.
It was also fun doing the work. It was just a really good atmosphere to do it in.
Final Thoughts
It was a real pleasure to support Matt as he made sense of such a powerful inner experience.
What stands out in his story is the importance of having somewhere grounded to bring the insights, emotions, questions and uncertainty that can follow a major life-changing experience.
For Matt, coaching offered a space where the experience could be taken seriously without becoming ungrounded – a place to slow down, find language for what had opened up, and begin integrating it into ordinary life.
His story shows something I care deeply about in this work: sometimes we do not need someone to fix us or tell us what it means. We need a steady, empathic space where what we are moving through can be heard, reflected, and given shape.
If Matt’s story resonates with you, and you’re navigating your own period of deep change, uncertainty or integration, you can explore Between Chapters, my 8-week coaching programme, below.